Self-Discovery: Productivity to Avoid Productivity

     In the past, who am I kidding? Currently I have problems with procrastination and staying on task. I think the procrastination started the first time I put something off to play video games until the last day then got away with it. The focusing problem started as a child, when I was diagnosed with A.D.D. Instead of putting me on Ritalin my mother chose to eliminate all artificial flavors and colors from my diet. It worked, I stayed on task and was generally less hyperactive.

     I'm not sure if I still suffer from A.D.D. To be honest I for the most part believe I have gotten over it. My focusing problem is more of an issue of discipline, at least I think so. Since late 2011 / early 2012 I've been trying different programs, apps and advice to keep on task. I don't think much of self-help books but the two I would recommend the most are for nerds and creative types. The Nerdist Way by Chris Hardwick gives a great outline for how you can take your ability to absorb information related to whatever nerdy thing your into and turn it into an ability to help you better yourself. This was the best lesson I learned from Hardwick's book:

...the brain doesn't just tell you to do things; it also has a nasty habit of telling you what you CAN'T do- whether or not it's true. As you go through life you gather self-imposed limits here and there until one day you're unknowingly trapped trapped in a prison of bullshit limitations. But the truth is, it's a holographic prison manufactured by your mind in a clumsy attempt to protect you from potential pain.

     Basically, your brain is looking for the shortest path to avoiding the pain of failure. This can lead to it convincing you to not try new things, tasks, jobs etc. but you don't have to listen all the time.
     The other book, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield defined what keeps your from accomplishing your dreams, from sitting down to write, to paint, to do what needs to be done as a force called Resistance.
     "Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance," says Pressfield. "Because it's the easiest to rationalize. We don't tell ourselves, "I'm never going to write my symphony." Instead we say, 'I am going to write my symphony; I'm just going to start tomorrow,"
     Now I don't actually believe there is a force that keeps me from writing but the metaphor helps. It gives a concrete idea to what is keeping you from doing and allows you to resist. I used to carry this book with me everywhere I went. In fact, I think I'll reread it soon enough. I'm pretty sure there is a .pdf of it if you search google but I didn't tell you that.
     Two other useful tools I have been using on both my desktop are called Freedom and Anti-Social. Freedom turns off your Internet completely while Anti-Social merely prevents your from going to certain websites though right now the current version doesn't recognise a lot of the sites I put in, including reddit. Freedom is the better way to go for just $10 and it was recommended to me by author Neil Gaiman himself, on twitter.

     Evernote though, has been my main savior. I use that for everything. I used to keep a word count on it before I discovered Scrivener had it's own word count goal meter you can set-up. With the webclipper extension on Chrome I can clip research right into Evernote, plus I have checklists of things I need to do everyday, a particular day or just in the year in general. I honestly would not have gotten through my last two years of college nor my senior thesis without it.

     This brings me to a recent self-discovery that has been preventing me from being as productive as I should. Instead of doing what I should I will find myself doing other tasks that are not as important but fill me up with a sense of accomplishment or that I tell myself I must do in order to do what I should. For example, with writing I will tell myself that if my bedroom it must be clean before I can write in order to have a healthy environment in which to do. See, now that's bullshit. I'm sitting here at my writing desk right now with my bedroom barely in my periphery. I know there's a bowl and a coffee mug on my other desk and my garbage can is probably full but those are not preventing me from writing. I can't even see them. That's not all though, here are some other tasks I'll trick myself into doing instead of writing.

1. Backing up my writing on to my external hard drive and flash drive.
2. Organising the files, i.e. making new folders, renaming files, etc.
3. Constructing the perfect playlist or finding the perfect music to listen to while I write.
4. Completely reorganize my bookcases. This one has the most bizarre connection to writing and the most flimsy but I know I've done it.
5. Searching Google for best apps to keep me from being distracted.
6. Making coffee.
7. Cutting my fingernails
8. Refilling all my fountain pens with ink.

     All of these are bullshit excuses and distractions but it doesn't stop at writing. Some of these can extend to exercise like the music one or making a protein shake instead coffee or searching Google for the best exercise apps.

    This is kind of a blog post to myself to remind me of this behavior and to prevent it from happening in the future. I know it's not completely preventable but I am going to try. Here's to self-improvement.

How will A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones end? (No spoilers)

With two books to go by the self-admitted slow writer and the producers of the HBO show estimating the series to end at eight seasons the end game for A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones is far off. Still, I know how it will end, at least I know how viewers will perceive it to end. There will be no spoilers beyond conjecture, and no details of the fates of any characters.

The hype machine is still going strong for this series, with George R.R. Martin’s name constantly in the news, making appearances on Conan and casting confirmations as well unofficial filming footage constantly hitting the sites centered around pop culture. The show’s intention with each season is to build upon the overall arcs of each character with some ending as the seasons go on. The books likewise, because of the way they tell stories using third person limited point of view for different characters in each chapter, tell the stories of said characters as part of any overall story Martin is building towards.

Recalling an article from io9 speaking of Game of Thrones scratching that mystery itch that was left in the wake of Lost brings up the disappointment many felt by the end of series over the ending as it left questions unanswered and the overall conclusion deemed disappointing. Martin himself has said his intention is to avoid a Lost-like ending, proclaiming his disappointment and his hope to deliver on the high expectations of his fans. However, he also expects the ending to be bittersweet.

This is just conjecture but just as the story was inspired by the image of the two dying animals in the first episode and the first book, I expect Martin has had the ending in mind from the very beginning with obvious editing needing to be done as the plot changes and characters are added. While I’ve always expected a bittersweet ending given that the story for the majority a tragedy how satisfying will that ending be to it’s viewers and it’s readers? Let’s avoid questions of a production nature like it’s budget, it’s directing, the cinematography, the acting, etc and just explore it from a storytelling perspective.

Game of Thrones and the even more so the books it’s based on is a world full of characters. With this many characters the odds of satisfying every consumer is slim, but that is to be expected. Every character is someone’s favorite character including the antagonists but not every character is slated to have a complete story-arc as some of the secondary ones are doomed to be metaphorical and sometimes literal causalities to the major point of view ones. If we break it down even further using just the main characters we can expect that when they all converge once again as they did in the beginning of the series that some of these characters will come into conflict. As this is in a sense a political tragedy most of the characters fall into a morally gray area rather than one group being good and the other evil. Therefore, each character probably has a fanbase that’ll be disappoint and one that will be satisfied with how it’ll end overall.

How will it end though? I know how will it end in vague details, just going by what I've seen and what I’ve read from the source material plus Martin’s expectation of a “bittersweet” ending and his hope to avoid an ending like Lost. Here it is in the vaguest terms possible. Westeros will be left completely changed but stable in the political sense, not all the characters people hate will die and not all the ones people like will live. There will be sacrifices, sometimes that means a character’s life and sometimes that’ll mean a character’s power. 

Questions that have had speculation surrounding them will be answered with obvious answers and ones no one expected. Questions people didn’t know they should be asking will be answered, which in hindsight viewers will believe that should of been obvious. Questions that everyone has been wondering about for ages will never be answered because stories, like life, don’t have to answer all the questions. 

There will be love, sadness, tears, triumph, victory, tragedy, loneliness, isolation, and most likely satisfaction. Before it is over surely there will be fire and blood, you will hear some roar and some will pay their debts, there will be fury by some, sharp blades by others, and winter will most definitely come. 

A Year in Books 2013.

     You could just go to my Goodreads profile and see what I've read in 2013 by clicking "date read" under My Books, but where would the fun be in that? So here's a list, in order, of what I read in 2013.

The Well of Ascension (Mistborn, #2) by Brandon Sanderson

The Magicians by Lev Grossman

A Feast for Crows (A Song of Ice and Fire, #4) by George R.R. Martin

Gun Machine by Warren Ellis

The Iceman Cometh by Eugene O'Neill

Long Day's Journey Into Night by Eugene O'Neill

Embassytown by China Mieville

Spun & Bite: A Writer's Guide to Bold Contemporary Style by Arthur Plotnik

A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams

The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams

Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman

The Valley of Fear by Arthur Conan Doyle

Exploring J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit by Corey Olsen

The Player of Games by Iain M. Banks

Make Good Art by Neil Gaiman

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling

A Dance with Dragons (A Song of Ice and Fire, #5) by George R.R. Martin

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers by Christopher Vogler

The Odyssey by Homer

The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R Tolkien

The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien

The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien

Aloha from Hell (Sandman Slim #3)

Laughter: An Essay on the Meaning of the Comic by Henri Bergson

Lysistrata by Aristophanes

Menaechmi by Plautus

Tartuffe by Moliere

Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

Red Seas Under Red Skies (Gentleman Bastard, #2) by Scott Lynch

The Republic of Thieves (Gentlemen Bastard, #3) by Scott Lynch

The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks

How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them by Howard Mittlemark

     This list doesn't include the forty-two sources for my senior thesis. The largest disappointing read began in the beginning of the year with The Well of Ascension and The Magicians with both books leaving me hating the main characters by the time I finished them and have yet to pick up the follow ups. The biggest surprise was A Feast for Crows, which is notoriously hated by fans of George R.R. Martin for focusing on new or minor point of view characters but I still felt it was a strong book with events that'll be important for the final two books.

     Easily the best reads I had this year, as far as new books I've read was Scott Lynch's Gentlemen Bastard series starting with The Lies of Locke Lamora. A lot of modernist plays in my reading list this year, which I find myself loving despite disliking a lot of modernist poetry and novels.My rereads this year, The Lord of the Rings and The Name of the Wind continue to maintain their place as two of my favorite books, while Neil Gaiman's new novel The Ocean at the End of the Lane did not disappoint despite it's short length. 

     Despite my love for Warren Ellis's writing, Gun Machine was your typical detective mystery in stark contrast to his previous novel Crooked Little Vein which I think I will reread this year. Discovering his podcast late last year, I had to pick up The Tolkien Professor, Corey Olsen's book Exploring J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit which made me appreciate the children's book a lot more. Embassytown by China Mieville is in my opinion his best book, exploring an alien race and language in a way I haven't read in science fiction yet, though I know he isn't the first to do so. Meanwhile, with the passing of Iain Banks I had to read two of his novels this year. The first one, his second Culture novel The Player of Games has easily become one of my favorite science fiction novels while The Wasp Factory was a disturbing look at rituals that I never would of thought of.

     Of all the writing books I've read this year I thought The Writer's Journey would of come out as the best but with a second half that drags How Not to Write a Novel's brevity as well as it's hilarious way of showing bad writing made it the top writing book for me of 2013. I don't have much to say about the Harry Potter series, I like the books as I read them and they are indeed fun books to read but that's about where it ends for me, and To Kill a Mockingbird I don't really need to comment on that always has been written before. The book and Atticus continue to be amazing. That was my 2013 in books.

     For 2014 in books I hope there books from my favorite authors are announced, to reread J.R.R Tolkien's The Silmarillion, and to read ten more books than I've read in 2013.

Some Resources and Sites for My Writing Friends

   

     
     Writing has completely encompassed my life lately. Writing my thesis, writing essay, writing my novel, writing my NaNoWriMo (that's National Novel Writing Month for those not in the know.

     So I thought I'd share the colleciton of links I have gathered about writing. Some of these are just fun little articles, some are actual resources. I'm pretty much emptying out my Writing bookmark folder here, so enjoy.

Poets&Writers - Literary Magazines - This is a huge database of literary magazines you can submit to. Both paid and unpaid sources. I suggest submitting as much as possible, as that's what I will be doing.

Writing Help - Tumblr - This is just some random writer on tumblr offering a bit of help with a collection of resources written on the subject of writing.

The Pompous Ass Words Site - A site dedicated to the most pompous ass words you should avoid in your writing. I love words of all shades but I'd say avoid these words in your writing like the plague. I'm look at you diaspora.

10 Resources to Help You Write a Great Short Story - Pretty straight forward, a list of resources to help you write a short story. Honestly the whole Write It Sideways site is probably chock full of resources you can use but this is the one in particular I had bookmarked.

'Why I Write Strong Female Characters" by Greg Rucka - Those of you might know Greg Rucka, both a novelist and a popular writer of comic books. He's created some great female characters in both and this is worth a read on why you should too.

The Dark Side Of The Publishing Industry: How To Avoid Scams - There are people out there looking to take advantage of good writers who might not quite know the ins and outs of publishing. This article is a great warning to avoid people trying to scam you out of your hardwork.

Preditors & Editors - This site lists the good and bad side of the industry. Those are who are trying to scam writers are obviously "preditors." Please donate to defend this site if you can.

Online Etymology Dictionary - Pretty simple, it's just as it says it is. I use this a lot because I think the origin of words is a good resource to using words.

Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America - Even if you don't write science fiction or fantasy this is a great resource for articles about writing and about people trying to fleece writers.

Association of Authors' Representatives - If you do get an offer from an agent, it might be a good idea to check if you can find them here.

Nerdist Podcast - George RR Martin - This is an interview with George RR Martin on the Nerdist Podcast. He's the author of A Song of Ice and Fire series and gives some solid advice on writing.

Nerdist Podcast - Neil Gaiman - Halfway through this podcast Neil Gaiman gives what I find to be some of the best advice on writing. It's so great someone made a youtube video of the advice, but I suggest listening to the whole thing.

Nerdist Writers Panel - I highly recommend anyone who uses iTunes to subscribe to this podcast but you can listen to it here as well. If you want to break into screenplay writing I highly recommend this podcast. Ben Blacker interviews people who are working in the industry right now on some of your favorite shows. Breaking Bad, Adventure Time, The Colbert Report, Once Upon a Time, Veronica Mars, and others. They'll tell you how they broke into the industry and how they continued to write in the industry.

Neil Gaiman's Commencement Speech - This is just an overall inspiring speech done by Neil Gaiman on how to make art, and why make art.

A Disconnect between Thought and Speech.

     Taking a break from thesis research to do a little bit of blogging. Not about pop culture this time but just something that's been on my mind.

     Part of the reason why I love writing so much is the clear connection between my thoughts and my hands that type them. Speaking for me is entirely different. I find myself having a disconnect between my thoughts and my speech quite often. It's like the pathway from the my brain to my mouth is the Oregon trail, and along the way words die off from dysentery. This will leads to situations where I will be unable to communicate what I was just thinking properly with sentences that quite frankly are wrong, faulty, or just jumbled enough to be nonsensical. I have record to memory the faces my friends make when I do talk like this. Sometimes this has left me feeling hesitant to communicate through speech at all.

     Maybe this is left over from the speech impediment I had as a baby? As a baby I had a lot of ear infections and as you know babies learn to speak from hearing other people do it. Since I couldn't hear I didn't learn to speak properly and had to go to special speech classes for preschool as well as speech classes during regular school hours during elementary school.

     I don't feel alone with this idea, though I do think the fact that it has left me feeling hesitant to communicate is a character flaw I need work on, I know other people can get this feeling as well. It's good to take something you find to be a flaw in yourself and inject humor in it. My friend Dan and I have come up with a cut off to these kind of situations where we just can't get the words out. One of us will be talking and the person speaking can already tell so we'll cut off and just simply say "words" as in there are some words that go here but I can't seem to get it out, fill in the blank. I think it came started with talking about that scene in Hamlet where Polonius asks him what he's reading, and Hamlet responds "Words, Words, Words" but I might be mistaken.

I urge anyone who can't get a thought to come out of your mouth correctly to just say "words" and not want to laugh or maybe it's just one of those things that only the friends that came up with it can enjoy. It definitely helps me deal with the idea of struggling with communication. I mean, you can't just write all the time. Words were also meant to be spoken.